You Do Not Have to Carry It Alone

IT'S YOUR ARENA
To send a story to Arena, please email arena@londonmasons.org.uk
We are also looking for writers – please email the Editor at the same address if you would like to contribute.

 

The Grief Café is doing something remarkable – and more of us should know about it!

There's a moment that many of us have experienced but rarely talk about. It arrives weeks, sometimes months, after a loss of some kind. The initial support has faded, people assume you're finding your way forward, and the world continues at its usual pace. Yet you may still be carrying the weight of what has been lost, adjusting to a new reality, and wondering whether there's still space to talk about how difficult that journey can be.

The Grief Café was created precisely for that moment.

Launched under the auspices of the Metropolitan Grand Almoner’s Wellbeing Initiative, the Grief Café is a monthly online gathering for anyone connected to Freemasonry who has experienced loss of any kind.

Facilitated by Mental Health Wellbeing Ambassadors who have walked their own grief journeys, it offers a safe, supportive space to connect with others who understand. There are no agendas, no expectations, and no pressure to share. The invitation is simple: Sit, Sip, Share… or Just Listen.

“I wasn’t sure I’d say anything at all. But just knowing there were others in that room who understood, that was enough. – A Café attendee”

That sense of being understood is, it turns out, exactly what many people are looking for. Grief can be extraordinarily isolating, not because the people around us don't care, but because it can be difficult to find language for what we're going through, and harder still to feel confident that others will have the patience to hear it. The Café offers something radical: a space where nobody needs to explain themselves, because everyone already “gets it”.

Since opening its virtual doors, the sessions have drawn an encouragingly varied group, Brothers and their families at different stages of loss or trauma, some returning month after month, others joining for the first time with a mixture of hesitation and relief. The format is deliberately unhurried. There's no clock-watching, no closing summary, no call to action.

But what you will find there, reliably, is warmth and an absolute lack of judgement.

“As someone living with PTSD, I wasn’t sure how I would feel about being part of the initiative, but I saw the importance of it. I’m pleased I ventured forward as the Grief Café was the welcoming and supportive space I imagined. – A Mental Health Ambassador”

This is, of course, very much in keeping with the spirit that Freemasonry has always sought to foster, the genuine, practical care of one Brother for another. The Grief Café simply extends that care into a space where it is perhaps needed most and usually received least: the private suffering that sits behind a composed exterior at the monthly meeting, or the quiet absence felt when a familiar face is no longer there.

“I lost my wife three years ago. I thought I was coping fine, and then I came to the Café and realised I’d never actually spoken about it. Not properly. Not to people who weren’t trying to fix me. – A Café attendee”

The Grief Café meets virtually on the last Thursday of every month at 7pm. No experience of grief counselling is required, on either side of the conversation. Registration takes only a moment via this link https://bit.ly/WellbeingGriefCafe or the QR code on the picture.

If you're carrying something, you're welcome. If you just want to listen, you're just as welcome, and if you're not sure why you clicked the link in the first place, well, that's welcome too.

For more information about the Wellbeing Ambassadors, visit www.theknowledgewell.co.uk/ambassadors



This article is part of Arena Magazine Issue 61 – Summer 2026.
Arena Magazine is the official online magazine of the London Freemasons – Metropolitan Grand Lodge and Metropolitan Grand Chapter of London.

Read more articles in Arena Issue 61 here.

Get Arena stories direct to your phone with the Arena App, available for Apple and Android smartphones here: